Monday, August 30, 2010

Can Substitute Teachers Be Sassy and Classy?

So today I worked my first substitute teaching job of the year at the middle school here in town. Let me start off by saying that I have subbed in the past for just about every age group and grade EXCEPT for middle school and there is a reason for that. Kids in middle school are at the age where they aren't considered "cute" anymore and they're no where close to being considered an adult, so they're kind of stuck in an adolescent limbo (which honestly sucks for all parties involved). I hadn't planned on taking any jobs for two age groups...Pre-K and Middle School. Now stay with me on this one...I had a very unpleasant and borderline traumatic experience the last time I subbed for a Pre-K teacher. Let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we? 

I have always been a lover of all children..little ones, big ones, tall ones, short ones, the cute and the not so blessed. So naturally I accepted a job to sub for a pre-k teacher for 3 days without hesitation (looking back I should have hesitated...BIG TIME). My first day went a little something like there, took attendance, pee break for the kids, read them a story, pee break for the kids, took them to art class, pee break for the kids, took them to lunch where I got mashed potatoes thrown at me, pee break for the kids, took them out for recess, pee break for the kids, nap time, pee break for the kids, snack time, pee break for the kids, PE, pee break for the kids, colored, pee break for the kids, get backpacks together and sent them home for their parents to take them on 1 million pee breaks. Needless to say, by the end of the day I was exhausted, but I was still excited about Day 2. Day 2 went just about the same, except when a little boy decided it would be a great idea to try and take a chunk of some little girl's arm off...that didn't end so well, for either party. Day 3 rolls around and at this point I'm starting to realize that itty bitty little ones (that aren't mine, related to me, or are able to easily pass off) may not be my cup of tea. Day 3 was actually going pretty well until...the incident. My kiddos were lined up and heading inside from recess when I notice one of my little boys poking something on the sidewalk with a stick. From a distance it looked like a rock, until I got a little bit closer at which time the smell hit me like a brick wall and I realized the little boy was poking at piece of poop with a stick! I immediately tell the boy to start and of course, he starts bawling. You would have thought I had taken his favorite toy away, and it wasn't just any normal small child scream...nope, this was eardrum bursting, hurts your stomach and makes you cringe scream. HORRIBLE. I finally get the little boy calmed down, and then it hit me...I still had NO idea who the poop belonged to. Needless to say, it didn't take very long to find out...poor little fella kind of stuck out like a sore thumb.

Now I actually decided to take the sub job at the middle school for two reasons: it was only a half-day and it was for the girls p.e. teacher. Thinking it would be a piece of cake, which it was, I confirmed my sub job for the middle school. The day actually went off without a hitch, until a 8th grade girl decided to start asking questions. She had just come out of the locker room and the conversation goes a little like this:
Girl - "Can I ask you a question?"
Me - "You sure can."
Girl - "Are you pregnant?"
Me (with a big smile on my face) - "Yes I am."
Girl - "Okay I was just wanted to know if you were pregnant or just fat."
Me (smile no longer on my face) - "Not fat, just pregnant."
Girl - "Cool."

While getting dressed this morning, I made it a point to put a a shirt that was tighter around my belly so you could tell, without question, that I am in fact pregnant. Turns out, I could have been wearing a tent and somebody still would have asked me. It's not the being asked part that bothers me, actually it's just the opposite. I actually love it when people question if I'm pregnant because 9 times out of 10 they will usually oh and ah over it, ask a few more basic questions and then be on their merry little way. The part that I don't quite care for is when people insinuate and/or flat out call me fat. That kind of rubs me the wrong way, but at this point, it's kind of a "whatever" kind of situation. 

Hopefully you now understand why I don't do Pre-K and had previously not planned on doing Middle School.

Even with the fat comment, subbing at the middle school wasn't too bad, but then again all I did was sit in a gym and watch kids play dodgeball all day. Let's be honest, that's not a hard task...even for The Sassy Classy Air Force Wife!

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